#we swear she didn’t do it on purpose (͡• ͜ʖ ͡•)

[overdrugs-mayhem]

WHATCHA’ LOOKING AT??? (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[myherodiehardfan]

promts (i STOLE FROM ALL OVER THE PLACE)

- prompt list -

Prompt List #1 ♛ Imagines

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

“Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry”

“Stay with me”

“Walk out that door and we’re through”

“Well. Yell, scream, say something. Anything”

“I can’t breathe”

“I hate how much I love you”

“Why are you so jealous?”

“Where do you think you’re going”

“Just leave me alone”

“I need some time”

“Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself”

“You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!”

“Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.”

“Stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not.”

“Just talk to me”

“Bite me”

“If you insist”

“I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me”

“I think you’re just afraid to be happy”

“Why are you so nice to me”

“Choose me”

“We’ll get through this, I promise”

“You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad”

“You’re mine. I don’t share”

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

“If we get caught I’m blaming you”

“Make me”

“Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now”

“I think I forgot how to breath”

“Stop biting that fucking lip!”

“You’re blushing”

“I missed something didn’t I?”

“You come to my room and wake me up at 4am, to cuddle?”

“Well this is awkward”

“Is that my shirt?”

“You look like you need a hug”

“I can’t believe you don’t like Disney movies”

“Please come home, I miss you”

“You’re so fucking adorable”

“How can you still look so attractive while crying.”

“I’m pregnant”

“You’re lucky you’re cute”

“Cuddle me.”

“Sometimes I really don’t like you”

“What if I told you I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“You’re getting crumbs all over my bed”

“Im too sober for this”

“Oh god, I need a drink”

Bad boy writing prompts (warning: mild sexual themes)

“He was sneak out the window past curfew kind of trouble, he was a motorbike ride cross-country kind of trouble, he was the kind of boy your daddy hated. But he was the only man that made you feel alive.” (Oh, Dabi, my dear, I’m looking at you.)

“‘A gentleman would offer me his seat’”    ‘Gentlemen are boring. But you’re free to sit on my lap.’ You narrowed your eyes. He slanted his head innocently, ‘Over my knees then’    ‘Charming, aren’t you’    ‘Only for you, baby’”

“You gawked. Did he seriously just offer ten million yen for your portrait? ‘You want me on your wall?’   ‘Actually, I want you in my bed but you seem to averse sex, so how about it?’”

“I love you more than I hate the rest of the world.”(Hm. A lot of the villains, but especially Shiggy and Overhaul.)

“I seem to have a nasty habit of driving people away.” (A lonesome MC/Reader or my darling Shinso, technically not a bad boy but can be applied hehe)

“Her body was his. His to ravish, to possess, to savor. But he was a selfish man and having just her skin wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more, always more. He desired her heart, her soul, her beautiful mind. Everything. He wanted her. And she will be his.” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (This is as far I will go)

RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS

SHORT

“Marry me.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“You are not going without me.”

“I can’t believe you!”

“I swear it won’t happen again.”

“What did you say?”

“I’m not jealous.”

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“We can’t keep doing this.”

“Are you sure this is legal?”

“Isn’t this amazing?”

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

“Stay the night. Please.”

“You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

“Run away with me.”

“You did WHAT?”

“Quit whining.”

“Get outta my sight!”

“Why are you so annoying?”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Never in a million years.”

“Don’t ask me that…”

“I might have had a few shots.”

“What’s with the box?”

“W- What are you doing?”

“Say it!”

“I could kiss you right now!”

“Are you done with that?”

“What’s going on here?”

“Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”

“It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”

“Did you do this on purpose?!”

“Kiss me.”

“Are you still awake..?”

“Excuse you?”

“This is all your fault!”

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”

“Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!”

“I shouldn’t be in love with you!”

“It’s not fair!”

“I could kill you right now!”

“Knock it off!”

“Screw you!”

“You’re a complete moron!”

“I love this song!”

“I can’t be in love with you!”

“Make me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“I hate you.”

“You are infuriating!”

“Just shut up already.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Bite me.”

“Eat me.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“Just admit I’m right.”

“Just admit you’re wrong.”

“You are being ridiculous!”

“That’s irrational.”

“Listen to me!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Don’t yell at me.”

“That’s it. End of discussion.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You shouldn’t have said that.”

“Fuck you!”

“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”

“How dare you?”

“I dare you!”

“It’s you, it’s always been you.”

“Well this is awkward…”

“Just pretend to be my date”.  

MISCELLANEOUS

“Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”

“I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.”

“You know what I like most about people? Pets.”

“Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”

“What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.”

“I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist.”

“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag.”

“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”

“Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?”

“Can I touch your boob?”

“It’s not that you’re wrong, exactly, you’re just extremely not right.”

“You shouldn’t be trusted with small children, should you?”

“Give me cake or give me death.”

“On a scale from, ’I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying’ to ’I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst’, how much of an adult are you?”

“You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”

“Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.”

“Obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t.”

“No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care.”

“When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!”

“If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?”

“I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”

“What have I told you about the toilet seat?”

“I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.”

“I vote today to be a pajama day.”

“You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.”

“I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.”

“I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”

“You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”

“Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”

“I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”

“What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”

“I am NOT crying, okay?! I’m allergic to jerks!”

“This would not happen if I had a penis!”

“That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

“All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.”

“I’m ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me.”

“To the night you’ll never remember!”

“Excuse me, did the 12:15 bus come by already?”

“Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.”

“Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.”

“You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his/her cake hole.”

“I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.”

“You better take care of that car or I swear I’ll haunt your ass!”

“This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.“

“It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

“I could do that, but could doesn’t mean would.”

“You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.”

“You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?”

“I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”

“Do you need me to kill someone for you?”

“Look out where you’re going, asshole!”

“Fuck the sandwich guy!”

“I did not mean for stripping to come out of this.”

“The whole street is blocked off. The police won’t tell us anything, but I think there’s been some kind of attack… Maybe a bomb?”

“Oh my god, are you okay? I’m calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you.”

“I’m weird, you’re weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn’t for the fact I find you repulsive.”

“There is nothing wrong with planning a wedding with a video game character.”

“I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”  

“There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendships.”

“It’s midnight, what do you want?”

“I think I know how to use a bed.”

“If I wake up in the morning and I’m dead… Wait.”

“You are completely unfit to handle a child.”

“We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL.”

“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”

“When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life.”

“It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”

PREGNANCY

“I have something to tell you…”

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“I’m pregnant!”

“When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

“You’re smart and successful with an adorable belly.”

“$50 bucks says it’s a girl/boy.”

“Pregnancy suits you…”

“Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…”

“I’ll just be in the bathroom throwing my fucking guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick!”

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet…”

“Shh… He/she’s sleeping..”

“I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me.”

“No, no, no, no, no, we aren’t ready… We aren’t ready for kids yet!”

“Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!”

FLUFF

“Your hair is so soft…”

“You’re so cute when you pout like that!”

“Just relax, I’ll wash your hair for you.”

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“What, does that feel good?”

“HA! I found a weak-spot on you, didn’t I?”

“Are you wearing my shirt?”

“You are ridiculously comfortable…”

“I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…”

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

“We should get a puppy!”

STARGAZING

“Aren’t they beautiful?”

“These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

“Shooting star, make a wish.”

“It’s actually a comet, but I’ll still make one.”

“Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”

“Never thought something so beautiful could exist in nature…”

“Wouldn’t it be cool to name a star after yourself?”

“Y'know, your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze.”

“This is why you made me drive three hours out into the middle of nowhere?”

“Is that a– Wait, no, just an airplane.”

“I wouldn’t mind falling asleep out here.

FLIRTY/SUGGESTIVE/SEXUAL

“Did you just… finish?”

“They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous.”

“I’m not actually feeling anything.”

“Are you getting any closer?”

“Why do they make this look so easy in all those porn movies?! This hurts like fuck!”

“Did something just happen? You’re not turned on anymore.”

“Shit sorry, am I going too fast?”

“Wow, you’re hot.”

“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

“Hey, I’m open minded.”

“Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”

“I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”

“I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m really horny, and you’re really hot. Can we fuck? Like, now?”

“I see someone’s happy to see me.”

“I saw that. You just checked me out.”

“You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“Tell all those other guys/girls you don’t need them ‘cause you got me.”

“Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.”

“Boobs are really just squishy pillows.”

“If you don’t get turned on by having your neck kissed somethings wrong with you.”

“Blasphemy! Sex solves everything.”

“I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”

TEXTS

[text]: What do you want now?

[text]: Do you want to bet on that?

[text]: Guess who just got back in town.

[text]: So I might be in a hospital right now…

[text]: We can’t keep doing this anymore!

[text]: Come on, come to the party!

[text]: Can you pick me up from the bar? Too drunk to drive.

[text]: You have no clue how I feel so shut up.

[text]: I call bullshit.

[text]: You thought you could get away with that, didn’t you?

[text] I gave up great shower sex to be here so don’t say I never did anything for our friendship.

[text] Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.

[text] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.

[text] Who says no to sex and donuts?!

[text] I know what you did last summer…

[connors-heart]

to be human: [ch. 3: intoxication and infatuation]

playlist - ch. 1 \ ch. 2 \ ch. 4 \ ch. 5 \ ch. 6 \ ch. 7 \ ch. 8

[ being a DCPD detective, your job was relatively normal - that is until androids came along, more specifically, RK800 ]

pairing ⟶ connor x reader

fandom ⟶ detroit: become human

warnings/a.n. ⟶ [no warnings] ; to be honest this is just some good old fluffy filler with your favorite detective trio, and to be even more honest i wrote the last part of this chapter while i was high so who knows, maybe thc improves my writing ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

w.c. ⟶ 2.2k

tags ⟶  @dragoste-lunes - @swagfeatpayne - @erinacg - @thequirkyn3rd - @the-witch-in-silence - @odd-otter - @randomgrove254 - @johnmulaneyslut - @fanworrior - @sophster1881 - @wowowokapowie - @glyxiebear - @snooper1 - @nefelislytherinpride

“Connor, I’ve been waiting to speak with you,”

The android recognized the voice to be none other than Amanda, both her and the surrounding garden beginning to generate through his mind. “Hello, Amanda,” he greeted. She faced away from him, snipping away decaying roses from the garden’s lattice panel, “What process has been made on the deviancy cases?”

“We’ve begun to understand the concept of a majority of the deviants. Most cases tend to follow the same pattern of abuse and shock from humans, leading the androids to become corrupt,”

Amanda nodded, a moment passing before she turned to face Connor. “And what about you?”

A look of uncertainty fell upon Connor’s face, “What do you mean?”

The woman clasped her hands in front of her, treading toward him, “There’s been an instability in your software,” she began, “Something has changed in you, Connor,”

He blinked, “There’s a new detective working alongside Lieutenant Anderson and I. She empathizes for the androids, and…”

Amanda’s features became bitter as Connor trailed off. “And… I get an unfamiliar feeling when I’m around her. I’ve never felt it before, and it only happens when I’m near her, it doesn’t occur when I’m near anyone else,” he explained.

He watched as Amanda turned away from him, beginning to pace slowly in thought. Connor stepped forward, “Do you understand why this is happening?” he asked. She stopped in her tracks, turning once again to face him.

“She’s a distraction,” she spat, “she is not needed on this case,”

“She’s a great detective - one among the best in Michigan-”

“Connor.”

He sank back into place, biting his tongue as Amanda approached him once again. “I want to hear nothing of this feeling, nor this girl ever again. You exist and serve for only one purpose and that is to solve this mission, and only that alone. Do I make myself clear?” she growled.

Connor pushed down the growing feeling of doubt in his stomach, nodding in response, “Yes, Amanda,”

______

“Alright, I’ve been meaning to ask you this for a while,” you spoke through a mouthful of pizza, “Sinatra, Coltrane, or Simone?”

Hank groaned, “Jesus Christ… I’m gonna have to settle for Coltrane… maybe Sinatra,”

“Wow, Hank,” a clear look of judgement crossed your features. The older man threw his hands up across from you, “What?” he asked defensively, drawing out the word for effect.

“Nina Simone was amazing, c’mon,” you rebutted, leaning back into your chair. The two of you sat at his kitchen table, the police reports you’d been focused on for ten minutes now discarded beneath two boxes of pizza - which really, could’ve been just one pizza, if not for the fact that Hank refused to do half and half since he ‘didn’t want any fuckin’ pineapple in contact with any pizza he was eating.’

“Well of-fuckin’-course genius, but she doesn’t stand a chance against Sinatra or Coltrane,” he explained, taking a bite from his pizza.

Before you could go to counter that statement, the doorbell rang out, and alongside came both Cleo and Sumo barking and howling. You and Hank traded looks before he stood up to answer it as you went to distract the dogs with slices of pepperoni.

The door closed swiftly as Hank trudged back in, Connor at his side, “Well, look who decided to crash the party - Jesus, fuck, stop feeding that dog,” A guilty look crossed your face as you looked, Sumo snatching a final piece of pepperoni from your fingers, “Hey, Connor,” you offered him a smile, avoiding Hank’s glare.

“Hello, detective,” he replied as he took a seat next to you at the table.

“Well make yourself at home, asshole,” Hank mumbled, taking his seat as well.

“I was informed by Fowler that you two were going over the deviant files, correct?”

You and Hank traded glances, looking down at the scattered files beneath your pizza and beer bottles before looking back over at Connor, “Kind of,”

The android nodded, picking up the pizza boxes as he gathered the files. Before Connor could be met with the oncoming insults from Hank’s mouth, you stopped him, “How about we just relax for a bit, we’ve got all night to handle the files,” you suggested.

“I recommend going through these files as soon as possible, otherwise the likelihood of them being analyzed will decrease-”

“Please, Connor?”

Giving him a hopeful smile, he stared at you for a moment, before nodding and setting the files down. Hank sighed, taking a gulp from his beer, “I’m convinced this android would literally run into busy traffic for you,” he teased.

You scoffed, “Maybe, just maybe, being nice to androids couldn’t kill you and the rest of the world,”

Hank shrugged, “Maybe, maybe not,”

Shaking your head with a laugh, you turned your attention to Connor, finding him to be watching Cleo intently as the husky sniffed his pants and shoes. “By the way, what ever happened to you back at the cafe?” you asked curiously.

His gaze shot back up at you, “Nothing,”

You raised a brow suspectedly, “What happened at the cafe?” Hank asked.

“He just… froze? Kind of like when a computer buffers when you give it too many commands at once,” you answered.

Hank nodded slowly, eyeing Connor momentarily, “huh,”

“I assure you it was nothing, I was just, processing data,” the android refuted.

Both you and Hank nodded along, “Yeah, okay,”

A beat of silence passed before Hank exhaled as he stood, “I think this night calls for a drinking game,” he called out as he rummaged through his fridge.

“Don’t we work tomorrow, Hank?” you questioned as he slammed the fridge door, plucking two shot glasses from the cupboard.

He looked over his shoulder at you, curling his lip, “No one said we were getting Drunk,”

Connor watched as Hank slammed a glass in front of you and himself, the two of you bickering back and forth. A sigh left your mouth, “If I show up to work tomorrow hungover, I swear to God I’m going to kill you the first chance I get,” you spat as he filled your glass with whiskey.

A concerned look crossed Connor’s face as he watched as you and Hank continued to fill your glasses after several shots. He watched as you threw the shot glass back, grimacing once again as the alcohol stung your throat. Your name passed his lips warrily, “It wouldn’t be in your best bet to drink so much, as small as you are, your Blood Alcohol Content will cause extreme impairment,”

You stared at him through glazed eyes as Hank laughed, “Ha! he called you a fuckin’ lightweight,”

“I think I’ll be just fine, thank you,” you slurred, holding out your glass for Hank to refill. Connor sighed as he looked between the two of you, watching as you knocked back countless drinks.

Of course, it was barely a challenge to Hank and his developed tolerance, but as for you, not much could be said in your defense. “Do me a favor, and get her home safe tonight,” Hank spoke under his breath to Connor, watching as you laid on the floor, cooing Sumo and Cleo.

Connor nodded, “I will,”

He walked over, kneeling next to you, “Are you okay, Detective?”

You looked up at him, “Fan-tastic,” you muttered.

______

Connor whistled, beckoning Cleo to come out of the car as the two of you arrived at your house. “I just realized, we didn’t get through any of those cases except for like two,” you tiredly spoke as you exited the car, dragging your feet along the pavement as you wiped at your eyes.

“That’s alright, we’ve got all day tomorrow to work on them,” Connor reassured, helping you make your way to the porch. “Why do I have so many keys?” you mumbled before dropping your key chain clumsily. Before you could, Connor picked them up, picking the one that looked the most appropriate and unlocking the door.

“Thanks for being helpful, I appreciate it a lot,” you smiled up at him as he closed the door behind him, turning on the lights.

And there was the all too familiar feeling, shooting up Connor’s spine almost like electricity. He studied every aspect of you there was, from your disheveled hair to your bloodshot eyes - and you were still perfect.

Leading you to your room, Connor watched as you slumped onto your bed. “I’m gonna go get you a glass of water.” He took your mumble of a reply as an okay, before making his way to the kitchen, Cleo at his heels.

Until the past day or two, Connor wasn’t necessarily conscious of anything beyond his mission, which had made it even more questionable when he experienced whatever he was experiencing. He was beginning to no longer wonder why, but what if. What if these feelings had a purpose? If he genuinely wasn’t malfunctioning but feeling something? It was growing to be something he felt he didn’t want to push away or aside.

Walking back to your room, he kneeled beside your bed, shaking you out of your drowsed state as he murmured your name. You groaned, squeezing your eyes shut, “Connor. I love you, but you’re being unnecessarily loud right now,”

It felt like every single processor he had abruptly stopped working, the various thoughts running through his head suddenly stopping in their tracks. It couldn’t have meant anything, it was just a figure of speech, obviously. But whatever it was, the feeling, went through the roof, at the sound of you saying you loved him.

He blinked, “...what?”

“Do you ever run out of batteries? Or is there a power button I can press because I really need to get some sleep-”

Connor shook his head frantically, setting the glass next to your bed as he stood, “Sorry, of course,”

You watched as he began to make his way to the door, “Wait,” you called out.

The android stopped in his tracks, turning to face you immediately. “You should stay. If you can anyway, I mean, I don’t know, unless you go back to Cyberlife and charge for the night or something,”

He stood in silence for a moment before nodding, “Okay,”

The two of you stared at each other, Connor standing in the doorway before you caught on, “You can sit in the bed Connor, it’s fine,”

He nodded once again before walking to the bed, resting against the bedframe as he sat down. Turning the lights off, Cleo jumped into the bed as well, resting at your feet. Connor looked through out the room silently, analyzing the polaroids that hung above your dresser. He realized they were pictures of family and friends, recognizing one of them to be a candid shot of Cleo and Sumo lying next to one another on Hank’s couch, and another being Hank with a colorful cone on his head that read ‘birthday boy,’ a candle lit cake in front of him while his signature annoyed look rested upon his aged features.

His mind wandered back to the apparent feeling that rested in his chest. Even being the best model Cyberlife had ever created, it was difficult to dictate just what this feeling was. Thus far, the most he knew was whatever it was, it was clear it was only in response to you, and only responded upon gestures of kindness and ‘affection’ from you.

Connor had only felt it to be at its strongest twice, the first time when you’d held his hand, and the second only minutes before when you said you ‘loved’ him. He wondered if humans could feel it, knowing the wide variety of feelings humans had. Then came the question of what characteristics this feeling brought.

He knew it was a feeling of infatuation, desire, maybe even a need to care for you. He also recognized this feeling to be what some human’s felt towards one another.

Love.

Connor stopped, looking down to see you lying toward him, the blue hue from his jacket illuminating the soft, peaceful features of your face.

And he felt it again. He felt love.

His jaw fell, his lips parting slightly as he finally recognized what this was. It was no longer a feeling, but an emotion, and quite possibly the strongest of them all. A wave of denial washed over him as the dreaded words from Amanda rang through his head.

You exist and serve for only one purpose and that is to solve this mission, and only that alone.

Did this feeling, this emotion, make him a deviant? It was a question that became too noisy in his own head, a question that he didn’t want to confront just yet. But the possibility of loving you became something he just may have been ready to face.

[nessackerman]

RFA (+Saeran & V) x Reader -A girl’s chocolate eaten!

Okay, here it is!!! *feels acomplished (ಥ﹏ಥ)* x3

First of all, Saeyoung’s HC is safe for you to read, don’t worry my dear friend, but the rest of them are a little suggestive ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (Kisses, Innuendos... I wanted to spice it up a little, I’m sorry if that bothers you, I really hope it doesn’t, there’s no smut, I swear, it’s just a little spicy)

I really hope you enjoy! ٩(♡ε♡ )۶

SAEYOUNG / 707

He already ate a bag or two of Honey Buddha Chips, so he thought... He innocently thought that he could eat that delicious chocolate without being charged for treason.

He clearly didn’t know how a girl’s fury can be worse than that of the devil.

“But... but... I swear, babe, I-I...just...” He said nervously, trying to get to calm you down.

“Ah-ah, no babe, no...” You shook your head and looked him straight on his eyes “IT’S MY CHOCOLATE YOU’VE EATEN... Not Saeran’s, not Vanderwood’s... but MINE” You pointed your finger at him and lightly poked his chest with it “YOU DON’T KNOW HOW BAD THAT IS!” You yelled, you were mad as hell and you sure were scaring the shit out of him.

You only wanted to eat the last precious piece of chocolate you PURPOSELY hide to eat when you were feeling down. It’s your survivor’s kit, it’s everything you needed and wanted. Your. Damn. Chocolate. 

You were just trying to teach him a valuable lesson, a very, very valuable one.

“It’s just... I don’t think you value your HBC enough, nor your guts, if you dare to eat what was mine, you know, I should do the same to you...” You hummed in approval and headed to the kitchen and smirked when he stopped you. 

“Okay, okay, babe, please...” He said, his face white and his eyes those of a puppy. “I’m gonna buy you all the chocolate you want, just don’t eat them, please, I won’t eat your chocolate again, I swear!” He put his hands like he was praying, trying to make it all more credible.

“I know you won’t” You softly laughed at his reaction, you couldn’t hold it anymore, your little fake angry moment was worthy after all.

You hugged him, hiding your face on his chest and snuggled, he smelled really good. He grapped his arms around you in response and kissed the top of your head. You felt him smiling.

That’s all you needed at the end of the day.

SAERAN

He didn’t care about it, he didn’t give a shit if it was yours, Saeyoung’s or the fucking devil’s.

He wanted it. He ate it. End of story.

But he didn’t know how mad you could get, you were always been sweet and caring... Challenging? Sure, but not angry, not ever. And he was way too surprised when you yelled to be able to reply to you. 

Until he got tired. 

“SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. NOW!” He screamed back and you gasped in surprise, so you instantly backed up and did as he said “You don’t have to yell at me, I'll buy you a damn ton of chocolate if that’s what you want!” He told you, a frustrated look on his face.

“I just wanted to eat that chocolate...” You told him in the lowest voice you had and pout, avoiding his gaze so he couldn’t see you blush. You weren’t going to yell at him again, he sure as hell was scarier than you would ever be in your whole life. 

You saw from the corner of your eye that he was back to normal. He had a playful smile on his face while he approached you and hugged you from behind, resting his chin on your right shoulder.  

���I could make you forget about chocolate... I have a million ways to do that if you wanna try” He whispered in your ear and then he lightly bit your earlobe and your whimper turned in to a soft moan when he licked it and started kissing your neck.

You sure forgot about the damn chocolate. 

V / JIHYUN

Oh boy, there’s no way you can get mad with him. NO. WAY. 

He’s a sweetheart... He suffered a lot... You just can’t get mad at him.

But he starts noticing your pouty face and the way you’re not as clingy and cheerful with him as you usually are and he knows.

“Darling... I’m sorry I ate your chocolate” He sighed and sit next to you on the couch “We can go buy more now and take a walk as we go, it’s a wonderful day and the weather’s perfect...” He said with a hopeful smile on his lips, and you couldn’t hide your own tender smile while you nod in agreement. 

He softly kissed you afterwards, with his right hand stroking your cheek as a way to redeem himself. 

HE IS SO FUCKING SWEET. 

OMG. MY POOR HEART. 

JUMIN HAN

I bet my ass he’s the colder, smutty version of V... I bet my ass, people.

And I don’t think he’s that much into chocolate or sweets in general, but he’s human, at least he wanted to try to eat a bit for once? So he did.

You wouldn’t dare to yell at him, but still you were a little flustered with it... At least he could have choosen another day to do so.

You were so damn obsessed with that piece of chocolate throughout the day that when you got home and didn’t found any... You could have killed someone in that moment.

So when he gets home and sees the frustrated expression on your face he notices something’s going on. You didn’t even greeted him when he arrived, that fact alone is like a neon sign screaming that you’re angry at him.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I know I can I make you feel better” He said and grabbed your waist until your body collided with his body, burning holes on your skin from his touch alone “You just have to tell me what you want, and I’ll provide” He whispered againts your lips before he hungrily kissed them.

You suddenly forgot what you were mad for and focused on continue breathing. Because boy, he sure was breathtaking. The hottest husband there’s to exist.

Fuck chocolate.

YOOSUNG

Yeah, he’s a baby boy and he’s sweetheart and he’s the love of your life and he can do nearly whatever he wants and you don’t get mad at him but oh, not your chocolate. NOT. YOUR. CHOCOLATE. No, boy, no touchy. 

But, oh, he was eating it in front of you and wasn’t offering you any. 

When he was licking his fingers clean he noticed some evil, scary aura near him. It was at this moment that he knew he fucked up.

“YOOSUNG KIM, I SWEAR TO GOD YO-” He literally run to your bedroom and locked the door. He fucking locked the door. 

You headed there and lightly knocked at the wood door with your knuckles “Baby, open the door ~ ” You sing-songed.

“No, you won’t fool me, that was fucking scary... I’m not opening this door, not ever!!” He shouted from behinf the door, his breathed uneven and his voice trembling.

“Yoosung, for God’s sake, I just wanted you to go shopping for more...” You said, regretting you had yelled to him, you didn’t want to scare him to death like that, not that much at least. 

“I don’t believe you...” He said, hesitation clearly hanging on his voice. 

“Stop being a child and open the door, Yoosung” You said with a sweeter tone this time “We need to go grocery shooping anyways, so at the end it was a good thing you ate that chocolate...” You tried to convince him, and a minute later he opened the door with caution and looked at you, waiting for a punch or something to fly his way.

But it didn’t happen, so he stepped out of the room and approached you, still cautious. You hugged him without warning and hid your face on the crook of his neck, gently leaving butterfly kisses there, making him giggle and relax under your soft touches. 

Who said grocery shopping? Who needs chocolate? Not you.

JAEHEE

I’m sorry, you can’t run out of chocolate if you own a café, it would be a sin. 

You and Jaehee never run out of chocolate. There’s chocolate in the kitchen, but not the one you wanted, she ate your favorite chocolates. AND. THAT. IS. A. CRIME. 

“Yes ma’am, that’s what it is. My favourite ones...” You chuckled, still surprised to found Jaehee ate them ALL “You should be ashamed of your behaviour, my lady, if you were that hungry you could have eaten something else...” You told her, clearly trying to make an innuendo.

Her breath hitched and she blushed like mad, her face obviously trying to match the colour of the cherries “I... Yo-you... I mean... Do you want me to...?” He asked, her gaze not meeting yours.

“Oh... No, baby, I was just trying to make you feel a little uncomfortable, just kidding sweetie, don’t worry...” You smiled tenderly “But you should pay the price now... What about a cheesecake with raspberry’s mermelade?” You wiggled your eyebrows in a funny, suggestive way to convince her. 

But oh, girl, she wasn’t in the mood for that.

“Y/N... You can’t offer me the finnest delicacy and then ask me to make a common meal” She said, looking at you with an intensity you weren’t used to. 

You were damn shooked. For a moment you thought you were too dirty minded to understand her words but, ah-ah, no-no... She said what she said.

“Oh God...” Now you’re the one blushing.

ZEN

You were really angry. REALLY ANGRY.

When he arrived home from his rehearsals you immediately faced him and held the empty envelope of your favorite chocolate in front of his face. 

He was surprised for a moment but then he smiled.

“WHY ARE YOU SMILING!? YOU SHOULD BE SCARED!” You yelled, furiously waving the empty envelope.

“Owwwww! You look so sexy when you’re angry!” He yelled back, a face that showed how in love he was with you. He can’t get angry with you, he just can’t.

He grabbed your hips and lifted you up effortlessly, without warning, you gasped in surprise and got hold of his neck to steady yourself, then you wrapped your legs around his waist, suddenly forgetting why you were angry in the first place. 

“Now you have awakened the beast, are you happy?” He told you, lust spilling from his voice, from his every pore. 

“Wow, you’re going to fast, babe” You asked, trying your best not to laugh.

“There’s one thing I’m not fast at... Wanna check, princess?” He smirked and you chuckled, still not used to his boldness.

“Of course I wanna, fuck the damn chocolate, now I want you”

He was clearly satisfied with your reply.

Okay...

Comment, like, reblog, whatever you want, just let me know if you liked it!! :3 And please, PLEASE, don’t be shy!! if you are thinking about asking me something, simply talk to me or you want to send a request, DO IT *insert shia meme here* I always cherish every bit of love you give me ❤

And, sorry about the possible mistakes, I also appreciate your advice on writing and content, so I’m all ears if you want to tell me something about it.

Love you ~

[lithium-screams-blog]

Review One: Vanessa Lang

This character belongs to MiacrystalMoon on DeviantArt.

https://miacrystalmoon.deviantart.com/art/Standing-infront-of-the-wings-of-freedom-685296284

Welcome welcome to the first review of mine! I know it’s obvious but please don’t harass the creator. As for me, this is for constructive purposes, so don’t get too pissy.

So, I’ve read a lot of ocs in my day, but I swear this one annoys the crap out of me. I’m going to start with appearance because it just-

YOU’LL FUCKING SEE

Well, first I’ll talk briefly about the art itself if you didn’t already know this is a based image of Hanji altered to look like this kid. Here’s the original image:

As you can see, the images are almost identical (except for obviously the parts changed by the creator). I don’t know about you but based and traced art PISSES ME OFF. I see this a lot in the AoT oc subcommunity. If you need a drawing for a character here are some alternatives to using bases.

Commission an artist or get a request from an artist

Use a doll maker (usually online dress-up games and shit. It’s trashy but it’s 100x better than stealing).

DRAW IT YOUR FUCKING SELF

Look, I know everyone isn’t at artist, but if you have even a little bit of talent with drawing anime girls, give it a try. Use references and shit, ya know?

Anyway on to the description of the her appearance.

Appearance: She is among the shortest Character of the squad and has a curvy but rather fragile figure. Her long, dark blond hair is tied in a high ponytail, she has porcelain skin and big blue eyes. She also wears a necklace under her shirt, that can only be seen partly.

Alright alright, you’re going to be seeing this a lot from me

SHORTY

WHY ARE ALL THE OCS I SEE SO S H O R T

I digress it’s a weird bias I have, anyway so you know, she’s basic. Short, hourglass, and small. Vanessa has “porcelain skin” which is a term a see a lot. A lot of creators make their characters doll-like (GUILTY). Which isn’t as much a problem and more cliche. It’s a nitpick, but other descriptions like pale or soft, even doll-like could do the character more justice.

Anyhow, I’ll skip the basics because there’s nothing off. It’s basically just name, age, height, and weight…

BUT

ONE THING THREW ME OFF.

Affiliation: survey corps as “right hand” of Hanji

HM OK. Isn’t that Mobilt’s job?

Ok wiki, help me out.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!

I was right! I mean look I’m not going to harpoon you for making your oc take the job of an overlooked character-

Actually, yes

Yes I will

Come on, your character doesn’t have to be anything more than just a soldier. I mean look, maybe Vanessa could help Hanji out with her shenanigans occasionally, but still kind of do her own thing.

Cool?

Cool.

Next we’ll move on to stats, and oh boy

Oh boy

Get ready.

Strength: 6 of 10

Dexterity: 8 of 10

Stamina: 9 of 10

Leadership: 8 of 10

3DMG: 9/10

Strategy: 9/10

Teamwork: 9/10

Agility: 8/10

I told you so. Anyway, let’s compare them to Levi’s stats to really prove if she’s overpowered or not.

Well let’s see, they’re stats match up pretty well. As you know, Levi is pretty, ya know…

S P E C I A L

Because you know, that dude is strong. ANYWAY, so why the hell is this character’s stats so close to, let me remind you.

HUMANITY’S STRONGEST SOLDIER?

Look, this Vanessa girl is pretty OP. I mean, I don’t mind high stats, but she’s so young too. I mean if she was her mid-20s, it may make a little more sense because she would have had more experience. So I’d say either age her up or lower them stats.

I’ll quickly brush over relationships because they’re nothing special.

Family: Mother and Father were originally from Hermina ( the southern district of wall Rose) but died during a visit at the titan attack five years ago.

Best friend: Sasha

Squad: Eren, Mikasa, and Armin; Reiner (like a big brother), Jean

Love interest: Levi

First of all, let’s look at family.

Hmm…

DEAD

Yeah yeah, I know everyone dies here but having intact family isn’t a sin. In Fact, it can add for future turmoil and even a more tragic past. Which can be really fun to work with.

Next I’ll mention her canon relationships. So she’s best friend’s with Sasha. Ya know, good. Sasha is pretty overlooked in the fandom in my opinion. Also their personalities mesh well.

Her squad is fine, but look at Levi’s squad:

Wow, ok we have 4 out of the 5 squad members in Levi’s are also in Vanessa’s squad. Here’s another thing, Vanessa is too young to even be a squad or team leader.

Oh What do we have here?

Love interest: Levi

I’m not going to elaborate. [Almost] every oc I’ve seen is shipped or has a crush on Levi. Look here’s my opinion. I don’t think Levi is the type of person who’s really interested in a relationship. I don’t know if he’d be the ideal super loving, cuddly boyfriend.

The skills section is basically just the stats worded.

Skills: She has great determination and stamina. However, she isn’t above the normal with her sword skills but she can handle her 3d maneuver very well and trusts in her one of a kind instincts. She can recognize danger with closed eyes bevor everyone else can. Furthermore, she is quite intelligent and very good at archery.

To me it seems a little EXTRA™️

Most of this stuff could be added to the “Additional Information” tab.

Personality:  She has an extremely kind and naturally strong character and always takes care of her friends no matter what. But on the other side, she is fearless and cold towards the titans not minding cutting them to pieces.

Ah, my favourite part of any characters is personality. Psychology nerd much? Anyway, to summarize she’s a really kind girl who protects her friends, but she isn’t afraid the tear titans to the ground. It’s fine but very basic. Kind characters are so one dimensional. Here are some character traits to take into consideration that could flesh her out more!

http://ideonomy.mit.edu/essays/traits.html

Alright, last tab.

Additional Information:

-It is still a mystery what the pendant of her necklace looks like

-She actually is afraid of heights that can handle it

-She is extremely good with animals

-She once sang a song to calm Sasha down and make her fall asleep

-If she would have had more time to get to know Petra, they would have become close friends

Ok let’s see. What is the deal with the penitent? I know it’s a mystery but it’s pretty extra. We don’t all need an Eren’s key to seem mysterious. Fears are cool. I love fears. But ok no, heights would interfere with her performance. I mean, you gotta be up in the air on gear all the time. Ok, good with animals is pretty cliche. So, here’s a replacement: How about she’s good with horses?

OOO YA SEE?

Soldiers work a lot with horses so it’d be a handy skill to be good at handling them. The fourth is just a scenario. I don’t want to seem like an ass but, its kinda dumb. I mean, whatever though there’s really not that big a problem with it. I’m just unneeded.

She’s Petra’s type hm?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nah I’m kidding. And yeah. It’s fine. I could see them getting along.

Well, that’s a wrap!

Thanks for sticking with me this far! All in all, Vanessa could use some work. She’s not the worst, but she’s also nothing close to the best. Hey, creator. If you happen to find this and read it all, just keep trying to edit and revise.

Every character has potential.

You just gotta find the things that can strengthen your character.

Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

Remember I’m always open to requests. I’d love to review some of your ocs in the future!

Until next time,

-Spider ♡

[kalliawexler-blog]

There’s something maddeningly intimate for Kallia about sitting in an empty room, her own gaze staring at nothingness whilst another stares back. She’s not comfortable within this position - feels somewhat restless, but she sits upon the only chair with the caution of a feral cat. Though others have been before her, the spines of some shrink whilst others fought with all which exists within this space, she is doubtful of what awaits. She does not feel sorrow for her past, does not mourn the lives she stole away, and family is an evidently unfamiliar notion.

          “There’s something about blank walls and prying eyes which makes me feel right at home.”

Hello, KALLIA. Let’s start with something easy, just to find our balance. Please state your name, age, height and place of birth for the record.

She sighs a little too early, sinks into the chair she is perched upon and brings her leg across the other. The information, she assumes, is already before them; large font, black against white. 

          "Kallia Wexler, thirty-four, five feet and three inches, Wrotham,” she thinks, can’t recall exactly - a vast part of her life is mostly smudged and forgotten. 

Is that your true name and age?

“You tell me,” she pauses, half disbelief, half absurdity. “You’re the one with the records.” 

          A tedious state manifests even more so - rears its head between them - and her fingers begin to rattle against the metallic table. She drums out a monotonous beat, hopes it irritates the nearby enigma.

          “Besides, what reason do I have to lie?”

After six months on a mission, do you regret accepting being part of this crew?

For some, she imagines the question strikes an interest, tugs their chin upwards and eradicates the vacancy in their expression. For Kallia, who opts to pinch herself in response - tugging at the flesh between her thumb and index finger, she wishes to evade the moment before them; trade their company for something which does not lure a groan from the depth of her stomach. 

          “I’m still here.” Even if it was unwanted by the many. “We both know I’d have hightailed it out of here otherwise.”

Do you believe in what this mission is trying to accomplish or are you here for different reasons? If so, what are they?

“I don’t care -” she says it like an oath, as if she has sworn to something godlike to never feel otherwise, “you wanted me, you’re paying me and I fight because that’s what I was made for.” She talks about herself as if she was not once organic - as if that life had been torched at the edges and gone up in full flame. 

          “And that’s what you want, isn’t it? You wouldn’t choose someone who doubted this mission, who didn’t willingly kiss your ass. You offer us money - a clean slate, we’re all just about willing to shine your shoes for you.”

          Her anonymity meant her survival, and, above all else, that was the most pivotal.

Do you have any friends on board? Any enemies?

It’s a casual and purposeful question all at once, riddled with the desire to pick you apart - to determine who your fight is for. She knows its herself, convinces her another could not be symmetrical in importance, but she doubts her response for a moment - friends and enemies are all blurred lines.

          “I don’t care about any of them.”

          Them who observe her, them who do not feed into her existence.

          The light flashes violently, coupled with a violent hum, and she calls its bluff. There is confusion on her features, shrouding something once relaxed, but she holds her composure and mutters beneath her breath.

          “I’m telling you the truth.”

          They tap at the glass, demand she think harder, and the insistence pulls her heart into her throat. Though she may be familiar with the taste of metal, there is something about this which is hard to swallow. 

          She pauses, thinks, and then, unintentionally, she acknowledges something - someone.

          Someone of a soul so equal in intensity that she feels almost safe.

          “-Thane.” 

Are you loyal to this crew?

A life of a criminal is not synonymous with loyalty - you do not cling to companions, place importance in lasting relationships, nor do you believe the company of many is a worthy life choice. Though, of course, the matter would be entirely different if it was done so with purpose - if your chosen companion possessed immense fortune or connections which better you.

            Though the sentiment for Kallia was unknown, she did not choose it deliberately. She grew bored of others quickly, squeezed them of their use and deemed them worthless. 

          And although the many prefer to act saintly, she has seen it from others too; heard of those who cast aside family for their beliefs, broke loyalty to perform how they so choose. 

          She was no different, but her intentions often were.

          “Like everyone else should be, I’m loyal to my paycheck. You don’t get things done by playing happy family.”

Interesting. Very interesting. Now, if you don’t mind, let’s skip ahead to some more personal questions.

“Thrilling.”

Do you believe violence is capable of solving most matters?

Ask her this as a child, all doe-eyes and plump cheeks, and she would have feared the stories of violence; cowered at the sight of destruction, cried at the prospect of monsters. Ask her this now, she will remind you she is merely a product of it. 

          “Let me behind that glass and you can ask the question again.”

          She lifts her chin instinctively, tightens her jaw. She’s not scared of them, nor The Benefactor - and they knew sure as hell what words would leave such pink lips.

          “Words are no less important, though people do an awful lot of things for you when they’re running scared.”

How are you likely to react in conflict, or disputes between the crew?

She smiles in response, far sweeter than the norm, and recalls the onlookers of her fellow crew. She imagines them waiting for something of substance - carefully selected words which may aid them in their comfort. Although careful, this brain of hers does not think to profess something of kindness. There is, after all, a lie detector within several inches of her petite frame.

          “Go for the throat.”

Do you fear Wexler Corporations may get their hands on you once more?

You can see the reaction in the sudden flash of something venomous, how her dark eyes have exchanged boredom for something far more toxic - something of poison. Her lips part, her stare hooked on her own reflection, before she coughs up something rehearsed. 

          “I don’t fear anything,” she snarls, welcomes the silence which follows. It’s short-lived, the machine hums once more and she is asked to alter her response. 

          Her fingernails dig into her palms, whiten the flesh for mere seconds, until she readjusts her position into something more comfortable. There is a segregation of who she once was and who she swears she never will be again. Her fear has been exchanged for purpose, her past erased, and still she cannot scrub out the years of torture drilled into her. They stick you with all things sharp, and the subject flinches, and for a moment, Kallia almost does too - her mind a flurry of all  that she has lived. 

          “Fuck you.” Her metal heart would crumble if it were organic, her blood pressure rising with every second she dwell on the matter. She itches at the bar code at the crook of her neck, tries to claw the scar free from her flesh, but it shall stay there until she is nothing more than bone. 

          “You’d fear them too if you knew what the hell they were capable of.”

Finally, is there anything which could deter you from completing your goal?

It’s all a game she knows well - grow curious to one’s loyalty, tar them with an equal stroke as any other. Though she wishes she were more capable of testing these waters, but she knows whoever resides beyond the glass has an answer already perched upon their tongue. 

          Her actions are robotic, her emotions are robotic, she is robotic. 

          They had built her this way, after all. A pretty enough weapon to fight a fight they had long since feared - one their organic flesh and bone could not endure. 

          “Nothing can deter me from my goals,” she speaks with no compassion, her lips a straight line. “Not even if you bastards stand in the way.”

          And then she leaves with no further response, adorning armour no tougher than her insides.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

[toadallytickles]

Besides m’story though-

Why am I such an asshole when I’m high? Like I don’t remember much of the weekend because I had more than my regular amount, but oh my god I just remember thinking so badly about people and I was like, calm down stop being a dick. Like I didn’t say anything out-loud or send any texts, thank god, but like- why only when I’m high? the devil’s lettuce

A boy told me I was pretty~ *cue girly screaming* Okay we don’t like each other like that, but I mean no one ever finds me attractive in person so........ finally-

I got my knee tickled for like 2 minutes after a lecture.  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Oh yeah, I have ANOTHER presentation due this Friday and we all know how I am with presenting like fuck I reeeaalllly don’t want to do it and that’s what’s giving me mad anxiety like omfg please just end me There’s only 4 gd weeks of college left and I’m done, and this presentation- is just bothering the frick out of me. I hate presenting, I really do man.

OOH MY GOD I HAVE ANOTHER AWESOME STORY. As always, I was hoin’ around and I almost exposed my liking for tickling again because I was being questioned about what kind of fighting I do, because I don’t like to fight. Anyway, I forget how but I brought up tickle fighting because I’m desperate as hell, and then I was asked if I get into a lot of those~  Well by fighting, I hope you mean I go full submissive and it becomes one-sided cause I’m into that~  ​( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Didn’t say that ofc, I was just like, “Uh, no?” And then he starts talking about how he and his girlfriend get into a lot of tickle fights, and I’m just nodding my head like, “Wow you are so lucky. Though I mean instead of fighting, why don’t ya’ll just have at me~” Didn’t say that either though.. THIS IS ACTUALLY THE SAME KID WHO WAS MESSIN WITH MY KNEE TOO SO LIKE- I SWEAR, HE’S EITHER REALLY TOUCHY-FEELY, OR HE’S INTO TICKLING TOO. So close..... yet so far away....

And then on a different day coming back from a field trip, some boy’s randomly like, “The only place you can tickle yourself is on the roof of your mouth!” And I’m evesdropping ofc like, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) well I mean- I know other places~ And my friend’s like, “What did he say?” And I repeated what he said, but I realizeD that I’m talking to the girl who knows about the kink so like- I immediately get flustered, but then she asks me to repeat it again and I swear to god- she did it on purpose. Like oh my god I can say “TICKLE” all I frickin want, but when someone knows.. LIKE GOD IT’S SO MUCH HARDER I WAS DYING. I had to say “tickle” in front of her like 4 times until she understood- I hate me omfg.

In other news, I’m desperate.

[beevean]

Blind Reaction to Steven Universe ep. “Rocknaldo”

The last time we saw Ronaldo, it was in Restaurant Wars, where Steven meddled with his relationship for the sake of playing pacifist.

The last Ronaldo-centric episode was “Rising Tides, Crashing Skies”, which... to this day I still haven’t seen, because I wanted to catch up with SU as soon as possible and I thought it would’ve been a waste of time.

I’m not excited, basically.

Which means I can’t be too disappointed, I guess...?

- what the hell happened to Ronaldo’s voice, it’s much deeper than I remember

- And of course there’s a reference to RTCS. I should’ve seen it...

- "Also don’t say ‘rock people’, it’s offensive” hello parallels

- I want to ask why Ronaldo thinks the HW Gems are “rock people” but not the CGs (how does he know that they can shapeshift of they’ve never done that in front of him?), but maybe it’s actually explained in RTCS. *sigh* And that’s my lesson to never skip filler episodes.

- *Steven turns a finger into a cat* *war flashbacks*

- “we’re just ignored and misunderstood” hello parallels

- (also, Steven, you’re not misunderstood, the CGs just refuse to interact with humans more than they should)

- “there’s a new post” can we turn Pearl’s face into a meme please

- “that’s why I’m joining the Crystal Gems!” oh for the love of fuck no.

- (let me guess: the green and red gem Cartoon Network showed really is his gemsona. It’s bloodstone. Because it’s cool and edgy.)

- Y’know, this setup of “annoying person who wants to hang out with the protagonists” reminds me of my least favorite episodes of Sonic Boom. I can’t stand them, they’re cringey, the humor often comes from how annoyed the protagonists are, and I really really hope this is not the route the episode wants to take.

- (shouldn’t the noise of Garnet clapping be her gems clanking?)

- “it’s not the stranger outcast we had” just imagine if Ronaldo and Peridot met

- “Bloodstone!” WE FUCKING KNEW IT

- And oh man, Ronaldo is basically mocking people who create edgy fan characters, isn’t he? This is really an episode of Sonic Boom! (also, I also skipped the episode with the crazy fan who kidnapped Sonic and forced him to read his fanfictions. I don’t know if I should’ve watched that too)

- Ronaldo is going to experience what season 1!Steven went through. Don’t worry, after you get severely traumatized you too can join the CGs! :D

- “Fighting monsters, sharing emotions...” 1) I just realized that the last Corrupted Gem shown was the Road Runner expy in “The Kindergarten Kid”. 2) i swear if you sung a song offscreen

- Steven’s eye twitch perfectly encapsulates all of my emotions.

- no connie please stay we need you D:

- “You’re just a guy with a blog!” Oh, Ronaldo, I’m so sorry, Steven just recently lost all the fucks he had to give, I don’t think he wants to deal with your shit anymore.

- (and of course, torment Steven and he’ll forgive you, but say just a bad word to Connie and he’ll flip. I noticed that you didn’t deny that she’s your girlfriend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  

- “But the second it stopped being about you... you stopped caring! This is not the Bloodstone club about making Bloodstone feel good, this is my whole life!”... honestly, this whole speech reminds me too much of how activism works on Tumblr, and... I really hope it wasn’t intentional.

- (I’m all for Steven roasting Ronaldo, though)

- And the CGs just awkwardly stand there, doing nothing, probably wondering what they did to deserve this.

- “Hey dad, I’m back, blog blog blog!” “That was really good!” ok i chuckled

- “That’s rough buddy” please tell me this was an intentional shout out to AtLA

Conclusion: Well this was an excellent waste of time. Ronaldo was annoying as expected (seriously his voice got so much worse), there was a general feeling of awkwardness, I don’t know if this episode was a general take that to certain people, and we didn’t even get to see the actual Bloodstone gem.

I don’t get what purpose this episode serves in general. It doesn’t move the plot, it barely serves as character development for a very minor character - what did Ronaldo learn? To be less self-centered? Did he really learn it, or will it be like Lars, who took a lot of episodes and a massive humiliation to actually be less of a jerk?

I guess even with my low expectatives, I’m still disappointed.